Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize