He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize