If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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