i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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