In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
vagina is talking i cant
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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