Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
