Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
