Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
