whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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