Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
