please come you make the beer taste better
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
