the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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