god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize