You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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