And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she looked like the before picture.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
