so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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