Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i've created a new STD.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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