she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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