does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
