I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize