see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize