I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
