Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
