You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
