Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
operation have a gay friend backfired
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
