I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize