Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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