im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
