her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I enjoy the company of your penis
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
