belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
