Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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