awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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