I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
