He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
