Moan for me like Helen Keller
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
