Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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