oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
