Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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