im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
