i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
