So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
