is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
