Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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