Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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