Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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