So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
