there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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