It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
