my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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