Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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