guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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