She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
two words...techno handjob
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize