i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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