I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
