ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize