My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
