NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
