Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
