Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
