I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The air taste purple.
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