garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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