shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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