but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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