i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
